Full Speed Ahead? Not So Fast.
What happens when you have a 'quick' brain.
Ellen is whip smart, thinks fast, and is outcome focused. She’s often “ahead” of people, coming to conclusions quickly and stating her convictions with confidence.
Then there’s Anne who had a ‘smack the forehead’ moment recently, saying, “I didn’t realize that my processing speed might be a problem. I get to the destination a lot faster than most people.” And with a sigh adds, “And it doesn’t just happen at work.” Her husband is also the recipient of her speedy (and if I am to believe Anne, often ‘right’) conclusions.
Ok, let’s talk about this. Fast processors are not better than slow processors. They just process differently. Their neural wiring based on years of ‘who knows what’ has them trip down certain neural wires at lightning speed. They have what I call ‘fiber optic cable’ wiring for the fast processing of information. It could be that their education and training honed this ability. Some of it could be genetics. Who knows?
But what’s true is that fast processing is often rewarded in our culture. “She’s so smart!” “Look at how fast she got to the answer.” It’s possible that many years of being rewarded for thinking fast helped these folks think even faster. And then they went into careers that reinforced the pattern, too. Until it didn’t.
Anne and Ellen are now getting different kinds of feedback from the systems they work in:
‘I can read the frustration on her face.’
‘She shuts down conversations quickly.’
‘She jumps to conclusions.’
‘Her approach is my way or the highway.’
Their coworkers also talk about the impact on them:
‘I feel intimidated.’
‘I can’t get a word in edgewise.’
‘Her tone is dismissive’
‘She doesn’t listen to me.’
Let’s assume for the moment that Ellen and Anne ARE often right. They DO get to the destination faster than the average bear. How do they then use this superpower for good? It requires patience on their part and some nuanced language. Their presence and their words matter.
Presence ultimately comes down to the energy someone is giving off. Language often follows the energy. I’m frustrated on the inside = I’m going to let you know I’m frustrated on the outside with the words I use. Unless, that is, you’re a really good actor; which most people aren’t.
Case in point: Ellen’s colleagues say things like “Things can come rapid fire. Her tone gets more curt and direct. You know when she’s not happy with you.”
Anne’s colleagues say things like “I get short, quick ‘bitey’ responses – I can feel the frustration coming through.”
What actually causes the frustration and impatience in the first place? Both Anne and Ellen can see the destination. They’ve edged ahead, like racehorses on a track, sprinting to the finish line. They get annoyed that others seemingly can’t keep up and are taking too long to ‘get there.’
These two women are remarkable in their areas of subject matter expertise and they are doers, drivers – they get shit done. They’ve achieved success by pushing hard for outcomes. And they’ve both advanced into senior positions. But with the senior position comes a different set of responsibilities. You are no longer just the doer. You are the Influencer. You are the Orchestrator. You are Getting Results Through Others.
So, maybe what’s needed is a shift in our definition of success.
Instead of success being about ‘getting the thing’ done as fast as possible, maybe success is now about ‘how to get the thing done’ with and through others. Maybe success is about nurturing and growing capacity and creativity in others. Is my primary aim to push past people to bring home the victory trophy or am I helping us all get to a finish line together?
Their colleagues say: Slow down; be more patient; bring us along; give us a chance to catch up. What they’re also saying is: I want to be a part of this process. I want you to see me and my ideas. I want to be by your side not have you be lengths ahead of me on the race track.
Food for thought. What’s the saying about a healthy marriage? ‘Do I want to be right or do I want to be happy?’ Same holds true for our workplace relationships.
Try This.
If you’re a quick processor, PAUSE. Ask: How is my ‘road runner’ speed landing on other people? What is my end goal? Is it getting the thing done or is it getting it done in a way that everyone feels their contribution matters? If you consider all the needs that are present, how might you redefine the end goal, or your definition of success?
For slow processors, what would it be like to tell your fast-processing friends about your needs directly? It could slow them down a notch if they understood your perspective.
Oh! I really love this piece. (Writing from the perspective of a “slow processor”.) I’ve experienced a version of this before but, until reading this, didn’t have this framework to understand what was happening.
Another wonderful post - thank you! I appreciate the way you keep the labels neutral. It's just a description of a style vs portraying one style as better or worse than another.